Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have been recovering for over 3 months now and finally had the strength and time to sit down to write to you. Here is what happened...
I gave birth on May 9th at 8.27pm. Shortly after I became unconscious because I was hemorrhaging. My sister Geeta, who is a doctor, was in the room and immediately called a code. She saved my life.
Rewind to a few months prior -
When I got pregnant I really wanted to give birth in the bathtub at home. Unfortunately, at 20 weeks I had a cerclage which took that option off the table.
That was my first disappointment.
My contingency plan was The Birthing Suite if I carried to 37 weeks. This was a ‘less medical’ part of the hospital that looks like a living room - but at 37 weeks my doctor told me he was going to induce - which prevented me from having a non-medical birth.
Because my labor was induced I had an intravenous line into my hand. If I hadn’t had a line into my vein would the medicine that pushed the blood back to my heart have been delivered quickly enough?
As a result of what happened, I've been thinking about how we often judge something as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. What if you’re always getting exactly what you need?
What if the universe is ALWAYS conspiring in your favor?
Next time something happens in a way other than what you ‘wanted’ what if you could stay curious about why your plans are being changed? I know I am now constantly open to the idea that things are happening FOR me, not TO me.
What if all you’re seeing in life is the tip of the iceberg?
What if the bigger picture is more amazing than you can imagine?
I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t give birth at home, I wouldn’t be here to watch my little boy grow up.
The Rolling Stones had it right -
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
Please share something that maybe your blessing in disguise in the comments below.